Boost your number of total posts here!!

Ever wanted to belittle someone on here? Maybe wanted to have an oppinion or be listened to on certain topics? Worried that you won't be taken seriously because of your low "Total post" score… Well now is your chance to write absolute nonsense and build up your score. (rather like a dishonest ebayer would create a false account, buying 10 items such as a single ear ring and a paper clip for 1p each in order to build a score so that they can bid on items that they are selling under a different ebay name) Simply write a load of twoddle, put up the odd smiley face, full stop ect and watch your respect withing the Mk1 community soar!

Now you can get stuck into people, dissagree about things that are none of your business and generally spoil it for everyone else, with the confidence that your score will reflect you as a well respected, seasoned, member of the Mk1 golf owners club…

Knock yourselves out!  

Get out of bed on the wrong side did we? 8O  8O

i'm asuming this may be a pop at me for my ashtray comment. was only a joke chief sometimes i can't resist others i try my hardest to.

I've posted that much it's gone around the clock, almost like my millage

novocaine said

i'm asuming this may be a pop at me for my ashtray comment. was only a joke chief sometimes i can't resist others i try my hardest to.

Not at all… I just felt like being stupid in a kind of Viz Top Tips kind of way..  :mrgreen:

fair enough. now weight for the hits to start rolling in.

walt said

Not at all… I just felt like being stupid in a kind of Viz Top Tips kind of way..  :mrgreen:

Viz top tip for you

AVOID parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

jonnymk1 said

walt said

Not at all… I just felt like being stupid in a kind of Viz Top Tips kind of way..  :mrgreen:

Viz top tip for you

AVOID parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to 'fast wipe' whenever you leave your car parked illegally.

this is a mk1 site jonny, we don't have fast wipers.

top tip: never eat brown snow

ok if were doing this
top tip
A next door neighbours car aerial, carefully folded, makes an ideal
coat hanger in an emergency.

Bus drivers. Pretend you're an airline pilot by wedging your accelerator pedal down with a heavy book, securing the steering wheel with some old rope, and then strolling back along the bus chatting casually to the passengers.

jonnymk1 said

Bus drivers. Pretend you're an airline pilot by wedging your accelerator pedal down with a heavy book, securing the steering wheel with some old rope, and then strolling back along the bus chatting casually to the passengers.

yradave might be interested in that one

If a small child is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down its throat and hey presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.

i always liked this one

MOTORISTS: When going through a speed camera, flash your lights twice quickly and watch the driver in front hit his brakes when he thinks he's been caught.

novocaine said

i always liked this one

MOTORISTS: When going through a speed camera, flash your lights twice quickly and watch the driver in front hit his brakes when he thinks he's been caught.

   

And this..

MOTORISTS. Pressing your 'fog lights' switch a second time after the fog has cleared will actually turn your fog lights off.

Sorry in advance I have to post this one:

Housewives: When nipping out to the shops, remember to carry a stiff broom in the boot of your car. Use it to sweep the broken glass to the side of the road every time you have a minor accident.

top tip

One armed blonde ladies should never wave to people whilst climbing trees

DRIVERS: Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone while driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.

Avoid dissappointment and inconvenience when ringing up to make a doctors appointment. Simply book an appointment for the doctors for every morning at 9:30am. If you wake up feeling ok, ring up and cancel it!  

kreosote makes a more than suitable replacment for tanning beds.