HELP!!! This car is ruining my life!

Did you check all spark plugs whilst connected to their ht leads

And swapping the leads on the coil?  Do you mean the two black leads?

I only checked the spark to cylinder one.  You reckon do all four at once?

Check all four spark plugs whilst connected to their ht leads  they should have a strong blue spark. Disconnect one at a time and check.
And try swapping the leads on the coil.

Will do

Right, I've taken some vids…just waiting for them to upload n then I'll post them on here.  I would definitely say white spark maybe with a hint of blue.  One spark seemed a lot stronger than the rest (to cylinder 2).  

BUT

It seemed like she was trying to start and each time there'd be what I can only describe as a big sort of puffing noise…almost sounded like it was trying to blow something out.  Don't know whether this comes across in the videos or not.  

As I was trying each start I also experimented twisting the dizzy slightly to change the ignition timing and it did seem to make a difference (more puffing and closer to trying to start).

Coil is connected correctly as when I changed the leads over there was no spark.

All of these starts were attempted without the 5th injector to try n prevent flooding the engine.  I'm now letting the sparks dry off again, n may give her another go in a bit with the 5th injector connected up.  The sparks were a lot lot dryer than when the 5th injector was hooked up…that bad boy really does shoot its load doesn't it?!

Definitely seeing light at the end of the tunnel

you need to get a timing gun to see what it is running at the minute

http://www.youtube.com…SeEo-FZLpYo&feature=g-upl

http://www.youtube.com…XaJ0zVRc4Uk&feature=g-upl

quite a difference between the two I'd say.  Do the others just need cleaning?  And you can hear the puffing sound, but it doesn't sound like it does on the video I'd say

Timing gun and the ability to remove the bloody bung haha.  Wish garages were friendly enough to just lend me one for an hour or so

Any ideas on the 'puffing'?

(stupid me…the reason the puffing sounds different on the vid…it's the spark not the puffing lol)

Isn't that the noise of the gasses escaping out of the cylander?

I thought it may be, but it also made the noise when all the plugs were in.  I'm hopeful another go in a bit and she'll go.  I swear my car works on positivity…all my mates dis her and then she'll break down.  Or I'll worry about something and she'll break down.  N if I have a positive feeling, then she'll work!!!

are you torquing the spark plugs

I don't have a torque wrench so doing finger tight and then quarter of a turn.

When mine breaks down I want to smash it up and take to the scrappers but when it does work I have a huge smile on my face.
Sounds like your friends might have a touch of the green eye.

The Mk1 Golf Owners Club

Well they'd rather buy a brand new corsa than anything with charm and a hint of fun about it.  It's remembering driving her that keeps me going!!  Here's the latest…

http://www.youtube.com…3XbBUqr3DI8&feature=g-upl

Closest so far!!!  And then after getting that close she wouldn't even try again.  Teasing little cow!  So taken sparks out again blah blah blah.  The only thing different today is the aav being connected.  The sparks don't seem to be coming out as wet as they were and there seems to be a variation in how wet they were…which would suggest to me dodgy injectors.  But I just want her to go for now and then I'll sort that…n she will go soon

One more thing to try. When you turn it over do you turn the key or do you turn the key and pump the pedal? try this push the pedal all the way to the floor and keep it there and then turn the key and see what happens.

Will need to try this a few times