Boost your number of total posts here!!

DRIVERS: If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way.

Minor skin grafts can be performed on pigs by covering any small cuts or grazes with strips of bacon.  

drivers: to prevent you car being stolen whilst your away from it. siphon your fuel out of the tank and carry it with you in 2 large buckets

dont buy a mermaid tights

Dyslexics. Try deliberately spelling words wrongly. This way at least you have a chance of spelling them correctly.

cyclist: carry 10 litres of water and a washing up bowl to make it eay to find a puncture.

A POST-IT Note stuck beneath the nose is an ideal way to foil lip-readers.

wibble wibble I,m walking backwards for xmas,big dogs,BIG DOGS landing on my face yip yip  :tlc:  :tlc:  :tlc:

Save on expensive car repair bills buy buying your very own garage complete with equipment and mechanics and then simply book your car in for free!  :mrgreen:

RAPPERS: Avoid having to say: "Know what I'm sayin'" all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place.

office worker: if you need to get a job done with no distractions a post it note on either temple acts as a very good set of blinkers.

Morals!

A cat tries to get a sausage out of the river but get paws wet and gives up!
It then sees a bigger sausage floating in the river and falls in trying to get it!!! Moral of the story!!!
The bigger the sausage the wetter the pussy! :wink:

Cracking piece of nonsense there... Anyone else?... Come on...

confusus say. 1 in bush worth 2 in hand :dontknow:

Old Indian proverb…

Man who go to bed with itchy bottom… Wake up with smelly finger!

 :mrgreen:

dont go to bed angry with each other stay up and fight instead

I see Walt was worried that I over took him in the total post count :wink:

We could just start a word Association thread?

What do you reckon then Walt...........

……….. I'm waiting