April fool

Any body get any pranks in yesterday.

Our store man at work is from Dubi, nice lad but english is not his strong point.

So I decided to order from him……….5x imber-seals and Two tubs of elbow grease    

He was about to ring our suppliers when another engineer told him about April the 1st.

I didn't bother ordering

a long stand
sparks for thr grinder
glass hammer………………………..etc.

Poor lad, took it all in good humor though. :mrgreen:

200 sky hooks on order and waiting for dispatch.

There is such thing as a glass hammer, I believe it's made of silicone, for hammering glass without smashing it.

But..

How about then a bucket of steam.

Some fallopian tubing  

A bubble for my spirit level  

used to send newbies down to get a bubble. the stores man was a friend of mine. sent one down for a bubble he came back with a new insert.
the swine.

got a left handed screw driver here as well.

Tartan paint, or spur-lash (noise an anchor makes when it hits water )

If anyone needs their motorbike converting from LHD to RHD, I can offer a specially good rate.

I liked this one on the UK Honda Varadero forum (another story) about how you're supposed to milk the engine breather hoses once a week: http://www.honda-varadero-uk.org/forum/index.php?topic=6580.0

I did have a friend at school whose old man had him searching through the garage for a round tewit, because all the jobs would get finished as soon as he got one…

Years ago before internet online ordering we got our secretary to telephone order some bits for the IT tech support dept (she was a well breed nice Irish catholic girl…)

The list started with 100 floppy disks, some screen cleaners, some memory cards, some printer cables etc, then some silk ropes… no they didn't have any of those, some leather straps, no none of those either…, it got quite pornograghic before she realised the list was, errr, not genuine IT equipment

paul_c said

If anyone needs their motorbike converting from LHD to RHD, I can offer a specially good rate.

 8O The Left-Handed Whopper
In 1998 Burger King published a full page advertisement in USA Today announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a "Left-Handed Whopper" specially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new whopper included the same ingredients as the original Whopper (lettuce, tomato, hamburger patty, etc.), but all the condiments were rotated 180 degrees for the benefit of their left-handed customers. The following day Burger King issued a follow-up release revealing that although the Left-Handed Whopper was a hoax, thousands of customers had gone into restaurants to request the new sandwich. Simultaneously, according to the press release, "many others requested their own 'right handed' version."

how can you forget the all time, universal, 'long weight'

Go water the plants.

(Their plastic)

Was a standard one at my old work.

how about horizontal plumb line weight.

novocaine said

how about horizontal plumb line weight.

i got one of those… it broke the first time is used it

yer i tried to use mine as a vertical line and it self destructed.

wooders said

how can you forget the all time, universal, 'long weight'

it's the "long stand" where i work gets them every time lol

one of the best ones i saw done was to a young apprentice at this engineering works i once worked at, he was working with this old wise bloke for a few weeks the old bloke never cracked a joke with the poor lad all this time and was always serious about the job they where doing till one day they where welding a steel lid on a large water tank but the lid wouldn't sit quite right so the old bloke said to the lad "go to the stores and get a struggling bar" so off he went, at the stores he asked for the said struggling bar and was told that the 15 feet steel joist on the floor was the struggling bar he picked it up and started to wobble through the work shop knocking things over and smashing mugs etc till he reached the old bloke at the tank after 25 mins of pushing and dragging this bar, the old bloke looked at the bar he had brought and shouted " you idiot take it back we need the large one" when he took it back to the stores after another 30 mins for the return journey the stores guy said " i think you have struggled enough for one day don't you"

             

I love apprentices, they are so easy to wind up.

One of ours had a plastic socket rail in his tool box.

We put one leg of a capacitor under one socket and one leg under another.

Then went to get the megga! (you know what's coming)

Once the cap was charged up it was just a a case of

"Oli, pass us a 13mm socket will you?"

Zaaap! "you ba****s!"

   

Electricity would be no fun if you could see it.

I once had my steel toe cap on my boot welded to my bench when i was welding new car exhausts on a production line way back when i was a lad
didn't realise till i tried to move and fell over almost broke mi ankle

Ive just remembered another one I did, me and a work mate where working in a church in Preston we had to roll the carpet back and lift some floorboards in front of the Alter to inspect the joists etc, I rolled the carpet back and found where some boards had been lifted in the past and tried to pull them out but they seemed stuck so i told my mate to go back to the van and get a screwdriver so we could prise them up, when he had gone i found that one of the boards was loose so i quickly pulled them up jumped down through the hole and pulled the boards back into place, nobby came back with the screwdriver and was about to use it when i burst through the loose boards and grabbed him, he screamed and shouted things that have never been heard in that church before , just as the vicar came into the place the vicar did luckily see the funny side my mate didn't for quite some time