owners jobs
Posted
Old Timer
owners jobs
Topoftherange said
company Her Majestys Police Force, Kent
Job Title Emergency Respone Driver
Job Role Answering emergency calls, picking up drunks, getting abused by the public, Pursuits (or "follows" as they like to call them now :roll: , fishing cadavas out of rivers, looking for missing people, getting spat at, helping little old ladies cross the street, sitting around all day eating donuts and coffee, being threatened with blood filled syringes by drugged up mentalists, being threatened to be stabbed, having rocks thrown at, being expected to know the solution to everyones gripes, being assaulted by violent people who dont want to be arrested, storming houses, using "the big red key"
as you can tell some of those are cynical and stereo typical things i put in to save anyone else the bother
Sounds like Belfast 20 years ago
Speeding is like masturbation, everyone does it ,but it's not something you should record and put on the internet!!
Posted
Local Hero
yeah but shooting at people indiscriminantly is frowned upon apparantly
92 Sportline in Flash Red, Standard **SOLD**
91 G60 Corrado in Aqua Blue pearl
91 Rallye Golf, Tornado Red, AMD tuned to 220bhp 227 flb torque 9j x16 Borbet B alloys
1985 B Alpine white mk2 Golf Gti
91 G60 Corrado in Aqua Blue pearl
91 Rallye Golf, Tornado Red, AMD tuned to 220bhp 227 flb torque 9j x16 Borbet B alloys
1985 B Alpine white mk2 Golf Gti
Posted
Settled In
Job Title Owner/talent of the business
Job Role Painting scuffed and dented bits of cars for idiots who can't drive!!!
Posted
Local Hero
Position: Signalman
What you do
I work in Signal Box where I signal and regulate trains using Absolute Block, Track Circuit Block and Tokenless Block methods of signalling for passenger and freight traffic. Also responsible for controlling level crossing and foot crossings. Work to two other signal boxes. Liase with engineering workers and signals/telecoms engineers in making arrangements for site work.
Have been signalling for 3 years now after many years in sales and logistics for chemical and transport companies. Needed a complete change :wink:
DubPartz
Posted
Old Timer
position: 3D artist
what do you do: Using Photoshop, 3D Max, Rhinocerous, Mental ray, I work mainly in post production side of things, cutting images out, placing images into final renders, sorting out image libaries etc:, still learning the ropes really, as its my brothers firm, kinda got a bit lucky.
1983 MK1 PIRELLI EDITION
Alpine White LHD ("SOLD")
Alpine White LHD ("SOLD")
Posted
Local Hero
job title: CARPENTER
job role: THROWING HAMMERS AT BULGARIANS WHO CAN'T MEASURE OR CUT STRAIGHT. BOLLOCKING SUBBY FOR NOT TURNING UP TILL 4PM ON FRIDAY WITH MY CHEQUE. DRINK TEA SMOKE FAG SCRATCH BALLS ALL DAY.
Posted
Local Hero
very entertaining it was too, no Bulgarians! only polish back then though
92 Sportline in Flash Red, Standard **SOLD**
91 G60 Corrado in Aqua Blue pearl
91 Rallye Golf, Tornado Red, AMD tuned to 220bhp 227 flb torque 9j x16 Borbet B alloys
1985 B Alpine white mk2 Golf Gti
91 G60 Corrado in Aqua Blue pearl
91 Rallye Golf, Tornado Red, AMD tuned to 220bhp 227 flb torque 9j x16 Borbet B alloys
1985 B Alpine white mk2 Golf Gti
Posted
Local Hero
Posted
Settled In
wooders said
company: SELF UNEMPLOYED
job title: CARPENTER
job role: THROWING HAMMERS AT BULGARIANS WHO CAN'T MEASURE OR CUT STRAIGHT. BOLLOCKING SUBBY FOR NOT TURNING UP TILL 4PM ON FRIDAY WITH MY CHEQUE. DRINK TEA SMOKE FAG SCRATCH BALLS ALL DAY.
:lmao: :lmao:
Mk1 '92 cab ABF Jenveys & Emerald
2004 Mk1 Fabia VRS
2002 Audi A4 Avant 1.9tdi
2004 Mk1 Fabia VRS
2002 Audi A4 Avant 1.9tdi
Posted
Local Hero
Position IT Support Engineer
What you do Advise people to turn their PC off and then on again, check they're plugged in, unplug them move them then plug them in again, reload and reconfigure stuff that doesn't work/never worked in the first place*. I've only accidentally unplugged a life support machine once, and they're battery-backed so an alert nurse saved my bacon that time!
* That's the complicated bit
Posted
Old Timer
(Primary) job title: production editor for a subscription-based dairy industry magazine
What do you do: get 7 days off before working 7 days straight, receive news about dairy companies from writers/news-finders around the world and use it to write some articles, sub-edit the lot, create graphs, layout the pages, create a PDF, send it to the printers, wait to get it in the mail to see if I can spot mistakes (ie, I file it before looking at it).
Other jobs include IT support for the ex-pats who can't figure out their wi-fi (pronounced 'whiffy' in French!) and being a chalet host or transfer driver when my mates with chalets are stuck on the odd change-over day. And lots of skiing, snowboarding and telemarking chucked in on my weeks off :O))
<img src="http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d186/Missmoopants/Golfskissing2.jpg" border="0" alt="Two lovely Golfs">
Posted
Settled In
POSITION: Contract Manager
WHAT I DO: Employ a rapidly decreasing amount of Polish, Slovakian, Hungarian and English rejects to move cages of food indiscriminantly on and off trailers at a Tesco warehouse for about 39p per hour. My day entails keeping Tesco happy by bollocking my staff for not working hard enough for their ?115 for 60 hours work and then getting roasted by my manager for not turning a big enough profit. All of which I'm expected to do 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Supermarkets never sleep!
Posted
Settled In
Position: Wavetank technician
Responsibilities: Building and testing scale models of oscillating water columns in our 20m wavetank. Upkeep of the worlds only, grid connected wave power generator on Islay. General workshop duties.
Mk1 '92 cab ABF Jenveys & Emerald
2004 Mk1 Fabia VRS
2002 Audi A4 Avant 1.9tdi
2004 Mk1 Fabia VRS
2002 Audi A4 Avant 1.9tdi
Posted
Old Timer
nowt to do with this post but did i see you towing a bike 5 or 6 weeks ago in bradford?you have grey hair??the car was mint,mint ,mint,the bike wasnt three bad either…Topoftherange said
company Her Majestys Police Force, Kent
Job Title Emergency Respone Driver
Job Role Answering emergency calls, picking up drunks, getting abused by the public, Pursuits (or "follows" as they like to call them now :roll: , fishing cadavas out of rivers, looking for missing people, getting spat at, helping little old ladies cross the street, sitting around all day eating donuts and coffee, being threatened with blood filled syringes by drugged up mentalists, being threatened to be stabbed, having rocks thrown at, being expected to know the solution to everyones gripes, being assaulted by violent people who dont want to be arrested, storming houses, using "the big red key"
as you can tell some of those are cynical and stereo typical things i put in to save anyone else the bother
CAMPAIGN-HELIOS BLUE-POSSIBLY SEEN IT ON CHRIS BARRIES(RIMMER IN RED DWARF) MASSIVE SPEED PROGRAMME?!!!
ERROR: A link was posted here (img) but it appears to be a broken link.
Posted
Old Timer
LarryMk1 said
COMPANY: 24/7 Recruitment
POSITION: Contract Manager
WHAT I DO: Employ a rapidly decreasing amount of Polish, Slovakian, Hungarian and English rejects to move cages of food indiscriminantly on and off trailers at a Tesco warehouse for about 39p per hour. My day entails keeping Tesco happy by bollocking my staff for not working hard enough for their ?115 for 60 hours work and then getting roasted by my manager for not turning a big enough profit. All of which I'm expected to do 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Supermarkets never sleep!
you could maybe do me a favour then. im assuming theres only one 24/7 recruitment, and the also recruit for designers as well. do you know someone within the company called Layla Hewitson? I applied for a job thru her and even phoned her when i got no response and she told me she'd phone before 10 am that day as she was just on her was into the office. a week later and im still waiting for that call! :wink: I did get a fairly lame email which basicly read: 'we might be in touch, we might not'.
Posted
Settling In
(Primary) job title: Marine Engineer Orificer
What do you do: In between time off. (Currently in 3rd month off still got 2 to go) Look after the oily bits on ships that carry guns, bombs, soldiers and mars bars for the armed force around the world.
Posted
Settled In
Posted
Old Timer
job title errrr
what do you do everything mot's servicing computer diagnostics run the business when the boss is away laser wheel alignment if it needs fixing i can do it and trying to explain to customers they cant drive there car its unsafe without them thinking i am trying to spend there money needlessly
83 BBS MK1 GTI 69 T2 PANEL VAN i am back let the trouble begin 
Posted
Old Timer
JOB TITLE- pull pints
WHAT DO YOU DO-pull pints all day and make sure the customers are happy(and get bought beer all day)
<a><img></a>
Posted
Settled In
Position Business Development Manager
What you do Get companies to engage in community activities and make them more socially aware, tackling issues such as homlessness which a much bigger problem accross the uk than people think
Although due to a lack of funding this is my final day :cry:
<a href="Pictures by jonnymk1 - Photobucket"><img src="http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii188/jonnymk1/illiza8-3.jpg" border="0" alt="Photobucket"></a>
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