funniest breakdowns??

okay, having a few drama's with my cabby so trying to cheer myself up a bit with some funny stories.

here is my 10 pence worth

was driving home to plymouth, in the outside lane of the motorway, doing ummmmmm 70ish, when it felt like my foot dropped off the accelerator. looked down to see the entire pedal sitting on the floor.

turned out it had been badly screwed back into place and the screws had come out of what was only rust holding it in.

i know its not nice breaking down but i did have a laugh to myself sitting on the side of the road holding my loud pedal thinking…… this really should be some where else!!

I work very close to Stansted Airport in Essex. A few years ago before I moved closer I had to drive the A120.

This particular morning my cabby decided to blow all its rad hoses so I exited the A120 at the airport exit and pulled off to one side of the roundabout at the top.

I was in the process of calling the AA and tipping my bag out on the kerb to find a pen and something to write on with the phone under my ear when the Airport Security came and had a look at me, presumably to see if I was a threat!

He drove off shaking his head, so presumably he decided I wasn't a terrorist!  

first major trip in my mini(classic) days after passing my test with my brother(rich) and mate(rich)…

going to a classic mini supply company to have my car rolling roaded.

get about 1.5 hour up the motorway then smell burning, milliseconds later see about of smoke come from the bonnet. seconds after this my whole car was full of smoke…so somehow got to the hardsholder, while swearing loudly, and then decide what to do….

not funny in itself, but afterwards pretty funny:-)

the breakdown guy…best quote ever about the smoke, "aw, shouldnt do that should it?"…lol.

Coming home from work.. just gone onto the A38, heard BANG!

8O

stopped at the nearest layby, checked tyres, smelt exhaust checked EVERYTHING on the engine.. looked under to see..?


the popped remains of a balloon stuck to the hot exhaust…

   :mrgreen:  :roll:    

silverstone in the old mk1 16v, i was booked in for a rallying day so i turned up, parked up for my induction and to sign my life away then we had to drive to the other side of the track to the rally course.  i hit the mother of all potholes en route which jammed up the fuel pump,

luckily someone came back for me so i did my rally day but that car only  let me down that once.   karl

I went to a fancy dress party a few years ago, dressed as Amanda Holden. I went the full hog with shaved legs, mini skirt and a wig for a laugh, but the exhaust dropped down on way to the party and I had to pull over. I had to crawl under the car to get the exhaust wired up,when a bloke shouted out "hey miss, is there anything I can do to help" I then realised that my legs was sticking out and this bloke thinks I'm a women! when I crawled back out I said in my deepest voice "thanks for offering but It's already sorted" the bloke just legged it, best laugh I've ever had.

few good ones there, however not sure you should really admit to that golf1, i bet the kind gentleman thought he had hit upon a nice VW bird till you popped your head out!

golf1 said

I went to a fancy dress party a few years ago, dressed as Amanda Holden. I went the full hog with shaved legs, mini skirt and a wig for a laugh, but the exhaust dropped down on way to the party and I had to pull over. I had to crawl under the car to get the exhaust wired up,when a bloke shouted out "hey miss, is there anything I can do to help" I then realised that my legs was sticking out and this bloke thinks I'm a women! when I crawled back out I said in my deepest voice "thanks for offering but It's already sorted" the bloke just legged it, best laugh I've ever had.

Classic!

My first car was a Rover Metro (RIO!), which I share4d with my Mum.  I was driving up the M1 when  I felt a shudder and then a bang.  I fought my way through the traffic and got to the hard shoulder.  Had a look around and the front nearside tyre had stripped its tread clean off.  Turns out Mother had put some air in the tyres before my trip.  She saw the maximum PSi on the side wall of thee tyre, and had filled them to 42psi!  The car was running 13's!

haha! damsel in distress.


Okay, I'm in Germany in the black mamba, my 84 cab that I bought a month before specifically for the trip.  Serviced everything and changed the fuel filler neck so she's running sweet, apart from a wee bit of overheat and stalling in heavy traffic, but 2 weeks into my eurotrip and it hadn't happened….

…then 3 lanes becomes 2 in the autobahn.  and it's slow traffic.  Mamba does a bit of "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh" ing and then packs in, won't start.

I've got the roof down, the sun is blaring, and everyone is tooting and swearing at us (I assume) as if we stopped for a laugh.

Big lorry behind me tries to go round me and then blocks both lanes.  

Deep breath, quick prayer, key turns and vroom, we're back in business, the road in front now clear til the next service station.

The Dreamboat is born.

When I was forced to move mine from Hatfield to Salisbury I had to pull the 'book in for MOT then accidentally break down a mile from the test centre' trick to get it down the country where I could store it. Wasn't exactly looking forward to it, seeing as it was a 100 mile trip on the A1m, M25, M3 and A303 with lots of nice policemen…

Anyway, lost the throttle cable overtaking someone in lane 5 of the 6 lane m25 by heathrow and had to coast to the hard shoulder  

Before it had barely stopped rolling I was in the boot, a spade connector in one hand and pliers in the other. Hey presto- new throttle cable end! managed to just about nurse it home with about 1/8th pedal travel, but getting up to speed on the hard shoulder was exciting to say the least  :mrgreen:

I was on the m62 going to York when I got stuck in a huge tailback. Turned engine off so it didn`t overheat.When traffic started moving, turned engine over…wouldnt start.
I was stuck in the middle of chaos as the traffic started moving(four lanes of)
This has to be the scariest event ever, with wagons whistling past blasting their horns at me.
Thankfully three wagons stopped behind me and got out to push me to the hard shoulder, very dangerous I know.
Id serviced the car before our trip and had been given the wrong plugs which had got too hot( thanks gsf) eventually got towed home.

distributer snapped on my first car '82 gti' whilst going home with my brother for dinner………

not funny really but we were in good spirits and laughed all the way home being towed by my old man….

it was christmas dinner….

these things should'nt happen on crimbo day..

we laugh about it every christmas and it happened 20 years ago….

i have just thought of another one…

not so funny as just stupid!

had a mk2 valver which went to the spray shop for 3 weeks to be colour coded and stuff, picked it up and started driving the 32 miles home when i heard a serious knocking from the front wheels. nursed it home, booked it into the dealers with suspected CV joint failure…

picked it up, no charge mr Mansfield, you just forgot to do your wheel nuts up properly!

not my fault, was the spray shop, but i left feeling very small. (and i'm 6ft 4) ha ha

I went round a corner pretty fast in my mk2 escort and smoke started appearing from under the front of the bonnet. I pulled the bonnet release cable but the bonnet didnt pop up and by now small flames where starting to appear. I had a fire extinguisher in the car as I had been welding the boot so I sprayed it through the front grill and the small gap under the front of the bonnet to put the fire out.

The metal rod that holds the bonnet open had came loose and slid backwards onto the live terminal of the battery and because the plastic grommet was missing from the rod and no cover on the live terminal it shorted out.

The battery was actually boiling and swollen and the heat had melted the bonnet realease cable and set fire to the paintwork. If I hadnt had the fire extinguisher I doubt the car would have survived.

I wasnt laughing at the time but it seems funny now and yes I allways have an extinguisher with me just incase  

years ago three of us out in a mates 1.1 golf driving far to fast for its own good, car started spluttering and slowing down eventually dying at the side of the road. got out could see nothing obviously wrong with anything, had fuel ? check, had spark? check, what else is there? only air! pulled off the top of the air filter and found the filter sitting in a hugh puddle of oil and litterly dripping in black goo. that might have something to do with it. binned, sorry disposed of responsibly, said filter and car started first time, good times. but my other friend who "knows a bit" said it will only conk out again as the oil is still going into the filter box so he pulled the breather pipe off the bottom and pointed it downwards.
off we set car now driving better than ever, we were all patting each other on the back how we had "fixed" the car and look it goes so much quicker, these 1.1s really are fast etc,etc.
at the time it was a busy saturday afternoon on a fast A road with lots of traffic. we did start to notice a few odd things first people coming the other way were flashing, well they probably not seen a golf going this fast and then the smell, of burning, at last my mate looked in his mirror. it seems if you pull the breather off the bottom of the filter and point down it points straight at the exhaust!!!!. i have never seen so much smoke the road behind was completely engulfed could see nothing behind the car at all.   :mrgreen: got us home though going a bit slower so as not to empty the entire contents of the sump on the exhaust.