So one of the 'Help!!!!!' threads a couple of us admitted to either doing or seeing stoooopid things done whilst working on cars, I'm sure we've all been there and done that. Things that, looking back, you think; really was I actually that stoooopid!

As well as setting fire to the floor of my garage with spilled fuel, but instead of running for the fire extinguisher I stopped to light a fag from the flames first and always working on fuel systems or tuning carbs with a fag in my mouth, there have been other stupid things too……..

Back when I was a nipper and about 17ish I was a Venture Scout. We used to go canoeing and the canoes would be strapped to a full length roof rack on the top of the mini bus (old ex police transit). So one day a canoe came loose, but we were late (as usual) so didn't want to stop. So ye, I climbed out the back door, up the ladder, onto the roof and re-secured said canoe whilst still cruising down the road.

Yup I'm still alive, nope I'm not sure how.

Darwinian theory has passed me by. Please feel free to share Ian

Ian it must be a trait of being a venture scout! Riding a bike after a few bevvys down the pub and couldn't be bothered to pedal so holds onto a mates car
Wasn't good - had to wear glasses and concealer on a black eye for weeks and cut a fringe to hide the large lump on my forehead - no helmet back in those days
Slightly more grown up now and just dance around a fire with music pumping out of the back of a mates T4 in a field

Did you do the lighting of camp fires with deodorant cans?

bomb in you hand!  

Not me, but the boys used to do it - used a pin so the gas escaped
Many a time I saw them with no eyebrows


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Working on a car with it just held up on a widow maker jack (the jack which normally comes with a car to change a wheel)
I was just working on an original mini and working on the front brakes, it had drums on the front so I had to adjust them and the car fell of the jack, it's really tricky trying to jack up a mini sitting on it's front drum brake as there not a lot of ground clearance to get another jack underneath to lift it!   


I always use a trolley jack and axle stands now.

I also forgot to put the sump plug back in after draining the oil and tried to fill the engine back up with oil! I was lucky I still had the bowl underneath the car to catch the new oil but it mixed with the old oil in the bowl.

I think many of the older members here will know I like to tell a story or two, factual as they maybe but don't even get me started on this one.

It could take many months!   

For an example trying to do a full replay on my first car (ford escort Mk1) having spent six months preparing the body work whilst learning at the age of 13.

No garage and being in a belting hurry to see some paint finally on it, the month was October and as I'm laying the first colour coat on it starts to rain.  

Didn't stop me though!    

Live and learn.  

I can't tell you how many slammed cars I've dropped off of stupidly placed make shift axle stands, had some super close calls whilst under them too.

Bit more careful now I have kids, they don't need a stupid dead dad,,, just a stupid one will do!  

When doing a Double engine drop and swap.  I had the Golf about 3 foot in the air, on Concrete Cinder blocks.
After finishing up, as I was jacking the car back up. One of the blocks just crumbled…. 20 minutes earlier and I would of been under it.

Got mad at a car I owned, wouldn't start if it was 50F and 100 percent humidity… after rebuilding the Dizzy, and it started to act the belligerent child no start, I got mad, and the wrench I was holding flew out, and shorted the battery between frame and the negative post, and It sparked…. Bad ground from battery to frame was my whole issue.

Tried to take a 30 foot turning circle car in 25 feet,  can you say crunch fender.

Driving 185 miles with the wrong set of keys, and a locked gas cap with no key….

Driving a car with no t-stat at @ 15fdegrees…. barely heat.  A semi-trailer zipped past at 60mph,  the 120 mph speed and windchill instantly frosted the inside of my windows…to no vis…. Saving grace of God, it was a road that was absolutely straight for 15 miles…. but instead of going to the bank to get their puters running, I drove right to a parts store to get a t-stat.
reminded me of the MG midget of my youth.

I got  million of them… well a few hundred…

I have quite a few stories (like most of us) but mark1gls reminded me of a time when I was changing the front brake pads on my MK1 Astra with it jacked up on the widow maker and no axle stands with me sitting on the wheel I'd removed with my legs under the car ! I was tapping out the roll pins that held the pads in with a hammer and screwdriver and after hitting my hand for the 50th time with the hammer I jumped up in a fit of rage and kick the car! The car fell off the jack so in another fit of rage I kicked the wheel trim that was lying on the drive and hurt my big toe! After I had finished jumping around swearing I could see my little brother laughing at me through the window! Needless to say, in another fit of rage, I had to go inside and give him a few dead arms and dead legs. After that, I went back outside, jacked the car back up and changed the pads on both sides without any further hassle, I often wonder if I'd have given my brother a kicking before I started then maybe I wouldn't have had all the other problems!And, even after all that, I never gave it a thought that the car could still fall off the jack while I was working on it! Nowadays it's trolley jack and axle stands or I don't get under it full stop!

When doing my training as a mechanic I dropped a washer during an engine service. Could not find it but no problem only a washer. Started the little fiat panda fire engine back up to hear a very distinct rattle as the air filter housing washer had kindly fell into the carb. Made its way into cylinder 2 or 3 and continued to bounce around happily. Had to work for free all weekend to remove the head clean the mess up and refit. Taught me to be more careful with the bit if remove and how much easier it is to remove even more bits to get the ones you drop rather than hoping for the best. Thankfully the workshop owner Brian did not sack me.


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mark1gls said

 it's really tricky trying to jack up a mini sitting on it's front drum brake as there not a lot of ground clearance to get another jack underneath to lift it!   


I always use a trolley jack and axle stands now.

Yup been there done that. Got a mini stuck on the ramps of a trailer once too. Hill with the wrong angle and short ramps and high trailer (still on the hitch of the car) , drive mini up ramps, front wheels onto bed of trailer, top corners of the guides of the ramps straight through the floors.
Only way was to jack the mini under the sump on the back of the trailer and lift it of the points that had gone through the floor. Of course the car had to be free to roll so we could push it back 'a bit' and then drop it off the jack and back onto the ramps and then come up with some other way of getting it onto the trailer.
Unfortunately gravity lent a hand and the car came off the jack, dropped onto the ramps, rolled off the ramps, up the road a bit, then gravity got involved again, and the car came running back towards said trailer and crashed into the ramps of the trailer.

What fun!

Golf Cabrio said

I think many of the older members here will know I like to tell a story or two, factual as they maybe but don't even get me started on this one.

It could take many months!   

For an example trying to do a full replay on my first car (ford escort Mk1) having spent six months preparing the body work whilst learning at the age of 13.

No garage and being in a belting hurry to see some paint finally on it, the month was October and as I'm laying the first colour coat on it starts to rain.  

Didn't stop me though!    

Live and learn.  

Been there done that. Clives entire front end was painted outside, half way through it started raining. Looks ok though!

Thought you might have a couple of stories  

Raul said

I can't tell you how many slammed cars I've dropped off of stupidly placed make shift axle stands, had some super close calls whilst under them too.

Bit more careful now I have kids, they don't need a stupid dead dad,,, just a stupid one will do!  

Been there done that. The Derby is too low to get a jack under it. I have to lift the car on it's 'suspension' to get the jack to slide under. I use an on old wheel and tyre as an axle stand  

Briano1234 said

When doing a Double engine drop and swap.  I had the Golf about 3 foot in the air, on Concrete Cinder blocks.
After finishing up, as I was jacking the car back up. One of the blocks just crumbled…. 20 minutes earlier and I would of been under it.

Got mad at a car I owned, wouldn't start if it was 50F and 100 percent humidity… after rebuilding the Dizzy, and it started to act the belligerent child no start, I got mad, and the wrench I was holding flew out, and shorted the battery between frame and the negative post, and It sparked…. Bad ground from battery to frame was my whole issue.

Tried to take a 30 foot turning circle car in 25 feet,  can you say crunch fender.

Driving 185 miles with the wrong set of keys, and a locked gas cap with no key….

Driving a car with no t-stat at @ 15fdegrees…. barely heat.  A semi-trailer zipped past at 60mph,  the 120 mph speed and windchill instantly frosted the inside of my windows…to no vis…. Saving grace of God, it was a road that was absolutely straight for 15 miles…. but instead of going to the bank to get their puters running, I drove right to a parts store to get a t-stat.
reminded me of the MG midget of my youth.

I got  million of them… well a few hundred…

Thought you'd have a few stories mate.

Been there done that. No heaters in cars? didn't even know they were supposed to work until I had my fourth car.

Yep sparked between the positive and negative terminals. Couldn't be bothered to get a spanner so used the 3/8 ratchet with the 10mm socket on. Unfortunately also had the extension bar on it. Hurt like the dickens!

Saulty said

I have quite a few stories (like most of us) but mark1gls reminded me of a time when I was changing the front brake pads on my MK1 Astra with it jacked up on the widow maker and no axle stands with me sitting on the wheel I'd removed with my legs under the car ! I was tapping out the roll pins that held the pads in with a hammer and screwdriver and after hitting my hand for the 50th time with the hammer I jumped up in a fit of rage and kick the car! The car fell off the jack so in another fit of rage I kicked the wheel trim that was lying on the drive and hurt my big toe! After I had finished jumping around swearing I could see my little brother laughing at me through the window! Needless to say, in another fit of rage, I had to go inside and give him a few dead arms and dead legs. After that, I went back outside, jacked the car back up and changed the pads on both sides without any further hassle, I often wonder if I'd have given my brother a kicking before I started then maybe I wouldn't have had all the other problems!And, even after all that, I never gave it a thought that the car could still fall off the jack while I was working on it! Nowadays it's trolley jack and axle stands or I don't get under it full stop!

Always give the siblings a good kicking before working on cars. That's got to be a good bit of advice right there!    

Backinblack said

When doing my training as a mechanic I dropped a washer during an engine service. Could not find it but no problem only a washer. Started the little fiat panda fire engine back up to hear a very distinct rattle as the air filter housing washer had kindly fell into the carb. Made its way into cylinder 2 or 3 and continued to bounce around happily. Had to work for free all weekend to remove the head clean the mess up and refit. Taught me to be more careful with the bit if remove and how much easier it is to remove even more bits to get the ones you drop rather than hoping for the best. Thankfully the workshop owner Brian did not sack me.


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But you learnt, that's the main thing!

I still have an extension bar literally 'knocking about' within the inner wing of my Toyota. Fell in and I couldn't get it out.

More please!

I didn't drop this clanger but I gained from it.

I had the turbo let go on our Nissan 4x4 and put into the main dealer to be done because it was just a bit out of my league these days.
Well they messed me about something terrible, took three weeks longer then they said and cost me €2,000 instead of €1,500 so not a happy chappy. Had to wait so long because their best technician was on holiday and he was the only one who does the turbo work!  

Anyhow paid and drove off with the car but after a couple of miles I heard this strange clanking sound, which really sounded odd so I pulled over and opened the bonnet and guess what I found?

A brand new metal box set of Snap On 3/8 socket set, complete. Many of them had not been used.
They were down by this time between the washer bottle and the inner wing, just rattling away.  

Now what's the one thing we all do before closing the bonnet?
Check we've not been dumb enough to leave a handful of tools spread all over the place before the road test!
Well this expert "Trunking Tanker" didn't.

Now normally I'd have turned round and gone back to shove the box where the sun doesn't shine but I thought no because I didn't want to hear anymore bull.

About  two weeks later I received a 'Customer Service' follow up phone call.
So Mr. Xxxx how's the car are you happy with our work etc…
I just said yep it's fine but sure enough they asked oh by chance did you happen to find a new set of Snap On socket set under the bonnet, as we believe our technician may have forgotten his?

I just said no nothing at all everything is fine, have a nice day and put the phone down!  
Never heard from them again and I never went back, I mean come on, a complete cased red socket set on a dark metallic green engine bay, get serious!  

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I love it when I find things…..
I looked all over hades for a 11mm/13mm combo flare wrench.
about 4 weeks later I found it, still on the front Caliper Bleeder nip…..a little Rusty, but no damage done….

Dropped a 12mm Triple Square insert tool right down the big oil scupper hole (couldn't find my Snapon one) after the the last bolt was torqued on a head gasket replacement…Cussed Fussed jumped up and down..then..fished it out with a magnet.  As I was cleaning up a day later, I found my Snapon one…

Dropped a washer in the head, knew where it fell, couldn't see it, couldn't blow it out with compressed air..(after covering all the scuper holes)

Bought a Digital Inspection camera, and looked all over finally found the washer tucked up in the Cam journals..
2 minutes later with a mini mag, and I was a happy camper…….

Opened the hood once and found my Screwdriver right where I left it on the Rain divertor…..

Yes, we all have said "How can I be so effing stupid." and the Cussin fussin pea-pea dance…..a time or two.

The opps hit your head on the bonnet so hard that the bonnet catch pops out and  your back it smacked by the bonnet catch and your head hurts even worse when you had the crushing weight of the bonnet on your head.

Or you can see it start to happen, you can't prevent it, and all you can say is. "This is gonna hurt."

Best tool ever for extracting frozen or broken bits/bolts/studs…. Reversible Hammer Drill and Left-handed drill bits…

Oh, best one yet.  Dropped the hood release cable clamp off the valance, saw it fall, took forever to find it.  Down the hole in the valance…Gotta love the camera.. as a matter of fact, I found 2 others in there as well, but only one was mine… I sure wished I would of cut and glued some screen material over that hole… oh well for another day.

PS, you should have raised the roof….but hey, you just did get a discount…with a lifetime warranty….

Put a motorbike twin cylinder engine back together after a full rebuild. Did it by the book just like my Dad said I should, well I was 14 at the time one tended to listen to the wise man born 1930.  

Plumbed everything, oil, fuel etc…
Dad is watching at this point but doesn't say a word.

Battery discounted, turned it over a few times, sounded kinda ok so I went to connect the battery and my loving father said to me.

"So Son, you're not planning on using the piston rings?"

With that he walked away to make himself a cup or tea.
I looked on top of the workbench and sure enough all the rings are laying there neatly laid out on a cloth.

I planned to ride off road that evening!  

Golf Cabrio said

Put a motorbike twin cylinder engine back together after a full rebuild. Did it by the book just like my Dad said I should, well I was 14 at the time one tended to listen to the wise man born 1930.  

Plumbed everything, oil, fuel etc…
Dad is watching at this point but doesn't say a word.

Battery discounted, turned it over a few times, sounded kinda ok so I went to connect the battery and my loving father said to me.

"So Son, you're not planning on using the piston rings?"

With that he walked away to make himself a cup or tea.
I looked on top of the workbench and sure enough all the rings are laying there neatly laid out on a cloth.

I planned to ride off road that evening!  

I would have probably fallen out with my dad big time even if I was only 14, lol! I bet you were savage!


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Saulty said

Golf Cabrio said

Put a motorbike twin cylinder engine back together after a full rebuild. Did it by the book just like my Dad said I should, well I was 14 at the time one tended to listen to the wise man born 1930.  

Plumbed everything, oil, fuel etc…
Dad is watching at this point but doesn't say a word.

Battery discounted, turned it over a few times, sounded kinda ok so I went to connect the battery and my loving father said to me.

"So Son, you're not planning on using the piston rings?"

With that he walked away to make himself a cup or tea.
I looked on top of the workbench and sure enough all the rings are laying there neatly laid out on a cloth.

I planned to ride off road that evening!  

I would have probably fallen out with my dad big time even if I was only 14, lol! I bet you were savage!


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Yeah well you really don't want to know what I did to my off road bike once I put the rings in.

Time to run in etc… 🤔
My butt, I thrashed the heck out of it from the first 50 yards.
Sold it three years later and the engine was fine but everything else on it like my body wasn't looking so good! 😂👍

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(and automotive idiocracy)

My 58 Bug-Eye, and my 67 Midget, gotta love Lord Lucas Prince of Darkness.
Used every bit of the wiring in the car to protect the 2 fuses.  :)

Why did my speedo cables all snap at 115-120 mph in my Rover 3500s?

Funniest moment of ownership was when I brought my 3500 home, had to drive it about 500 miles from where I purchased it to where I lived, and a tire change at the state line (studded snows weren't legal in the state I lived).

The Radio didn't work, and I found out the Antenna co-ax was broken in the Trunk.  So I stripped it and soldered the wires together.  At that time, the Radio blared to life, and my dad who heard it playing (the announcer said "This is the BBC") said, "This is a short wave receiver?" My Brother and I started Laughing as it was a re-broadcast of a Pink Floyd concert in the UK being aired on a local FM radio station.... :)........




 

Ahhhhhh wiring, such fun

I had a pair of spot lights on my mini. Wired direct through a big pull switch from a 1940's car that I found in my Dads garage. When they were used the cars engine used to die a bit and you'd have to change down a gear just to keep it running!

Manged to get my head stuck in the wishbone of an Alfasud trying to change the inboard brake pads. Panicked and cut my ears pulling my head out.  

 

but